Monthly Archives: September 2012

September 30, 2012 · 8:15 pm

How’re Those New Years Resolutions Doing?

It’s the beginning of the fourth quarter.  I think of this as a “last chance” on my resolutions every year.  I look at them and see how I’m doing on each one.  I feel great about the ones that I’ve done well on and decide whether to dump the ones I haven’t or whether to re-commit to get them done.

The most common resolutions are about:

  • Losing weight
  • Spending more time with family
  • Getting more exercise
  • Doing better at work
  • Learning something new
  • Getting organized
  • Quitting smoking
  • Save money

Sound familiar?  Many of us have the same resolution year after year.  What is it that causes some people to actually deliver on their resolutions and most of the rest of us to keep wishing we will every January?  The difference is action.  Some people look at what they want to accomplish and take the first step.  And then the second.  And then the third. In order to really change, you have to take enough steps that you actually accomplish it.  There is absolutely no reason that you can’t do that.

Look at your resolutions for this year.  Or, make some third quarter resolutions.  Look at the one that is most important to you.  Pick just one for now.   What can you do TOMORROW that will get you closer to accomplishing it?  If you are a person who likes lists, then make a list of the first five things that you need to do to accomplish your goal.  If you are a person who hates lists, just figure out one action that will get you closer.  THEN DO IT!

If you want to lose weight, what will you do TOMORROW?  If you want to spend more time with your family, what will you do TOMORROW?  If you want to get out of debt, what will you do TOMORROW?

At the end of the first quarter, I wrote about who statistically succeeds at their resolutions.  Only 8% of us.  You still have a quarter to get it done.  Be among the 8%!

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September 28, 2012 · 1:31 pm

Avoid the Career Kiss of Death–Don’t Be A Commodity

Stand Out or Be Out

One of the worst things that can happen to you career-wise is for your employer (or potential employers) to see you as interchangable with other people with the same skill set.  If they think that they can get more where you came from, then they are not valuing you as an employee.  If your employer does not see you as unique, as someone who brings a value-add skill set to the table, then you will stall out at your organization.  Not only that, when you seek other employment after you’ve stalled out, you will not have an easy time getting a new job that pays as well as the last one or that has the potential to take you to the next level.  When people think that an accountant is an accountant is an accountant, then why would they choose you over anyone else?  What is it about you that makes your boss concerned about keeping you, nurturing you and developing you?  What is it about you that makes your resume stand out from the other 300 that the recruiter is looking through?

Of course you know that you are unique and special.  Think about how that is obvious to people who don’t know you well, though.  What is it about your resume or your experience or your skill set that makes you stand out?  If you don’t have a level of expertise or a special skill set that is obvious on paper and at the first meeting with you, then you risk being a commodity.  And that is not a place you want to be in this job market.  In this day of downsizing and outsourcing, you want it to be a no-brainer for the decision makers to keep you, regardless of the other decisions that they are making.

How Can You Tell?

Go online.  Look at the resumes of people who do what you do.    Notice the ones that stand out.  What is it that makes them stand out.  Imagine that you are looking to replace you in your job.  Who would you select from among the hundreds of similar resumes?  Why?  What makes the ones who stand out more interesting, more attractive, more valuable?  How do you stack up against those people?

Now, look at the job descriptions from employers of people in the job that you do.  What are they looking for?  Is there any subset of skills or additional abilities that they are consistently asking for?  What are the things that are listed in the “preferred” skill/education list?  Can you tell if they are looking for someone who is ‘good enough’ or someone who is extraordinary?  For those who are looking for someone who is extraordinary, how do you stack up against those job descriptions?  Would you hire you based on your current resume and skill set for those jobs?

Within your own organization, are there people who do what you do who stand out more than you do?  Why?  What do they have that you don’t have?  This is not the time to say, “He has a degree from Harvard, and I’ll never have one, so it is hopeless.”  If he has a degree from Harvard, is that really why he stands out?  Or is it how he acts, who he talks to or the work that he does?

If you are a commondity–a one-size-fits-all-employee–then you may continue to be employed (if you can figure out how to stand out among the hundreds of other equivalent one-size-fits-all-employees enough to get hired in the first place), but you will not have much of an upwardly bound career.

So What Do You Do?

Based on your observations of the resumes and job descriptions that you looked at, what is it you need to stand out?  Do you need more education or certifications?  Do you need more/different skills?  Is there something that you can do, like get Six Sigma or PMI certified for instance, that makes you a two-fer?  You are qualified at human resources or accounting or engineering, but you can also help with projects or re-engineering?  Can you take it to the next level through some kind of specialized experience?  Don’t underestimate the power of volunteering for things that get you different/more experience.

Understand your brand.  Learn to sell your brand.  Figure out how to get things done without the authority.  Keep up with what’s new in your field and your industry.

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September 25, 2012 · 7:53 pm

Bosses Are People Too

You Think The Same As You Did Before

For those of you who are over the age of 25, you know how you feel the same no matter how old you are?  The outside may seem older, but to yourself—inside your mind—you feel the same age.  It’s really weird.  You would think that as you age, you would think differently, but if you do, you don’t notice it.

The same is true when you become a boss.  You think of yourself as the same.  You have different responsibilities and you have to do them differently than you did before you were a boss (you have more power and that helps get things done), but you think of yourself as being the same.  Again, when you become an executive, how other people think of you changes, but how you think of yourself stays much the same.  The problem is (in both cases–age and organization level) that other people see you differently.

Power Changes Things

When you are a boss, you have positional power over people–you have the ability and the right to decide their fate.  You can give them a good review, or put them on “a program.”  You decide how much raise they get (within parmeters established by the company) and therefore whether their quality of life goes up or down.  You give them assignments which can create visibility or push them beyond their ability to perform.  You believe in your own head that you are fair, that you make the right decisions on all of these things, and that you are a good and likeable person.  Right?

Just by virtue of having this power, however, you will frequently stop being given the benefit of the doubt.  Your motivations will not be seen as virtuous, your decisions will not be seen as fair (by everyone) and your subordinates will begin to feel a distance toward  you–even those who are your friends.  It is just the way it is.  If you are a boss, you need to be aware of this.  To do your job, you must exercise positional power.  You can counterbalance the negative side of positional power, however, by building your personal power.  Personal power is acquired through respect by others.  Personal power comes in several flavors:  referent power, information power, connection power.  When you have personal power, that benefit of the doubt comes back.  Personal power stays with you when you leave the specific job.  Personal power does not alienate people as much as positional power does.  Personal power helps others view you as “a people” too.

Treat Your Boss Like “A People”

Now, flip the switch.  Think about your own boss(es).  They have the same issues.  S/he sees herself as fair, virtuous, and trying to do the right thing.  S/he is puzzled about why her subordinates don’t see her that way.  Consider giving him/her the benefit of the doubt.  Try to overlook the positional power and treat him/her like “a people.”  You will stand out.  You will engender trust by trusting.  And that will begin to build your personal power with your boss.

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September 23, 2012 · 10:05 pm

Your Company Doesn’t Care

Sorry.  Despite what the Supreme Court thinks, your company is not a person.  It doesn’t care.  It doesn’t think.  It doesn’t want.  You can’t impress it.  Your company is made up of people–lots of them.  All kinds of people.  They DO care.  They are complicated and hard to figure out and hard to work with.  People can be influenced and impressed.  Focus on the people.  Build relationships.  Build relationships with people who think and speak “for” the company.  Make sure they know who you are.  Make sure they know what you do.  Make sure they think you add value to the company.  Make sure they care about you

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September 19, 2012 · 7:45 pm

Get Better At Your Job. Now.

How Good Do You Want To Be?

What kind of employee do you want to be?  What kind of a manager?  What kind of a leader?  What kind of a boss? What kind of a sales person?  What kind of a General Manager?  What kind of an Executive?  This is a serious question (or I guess several serious questions).  Do you want to be “OK” at your job?  Do you want to be good at it?  Or do you want to be extraordinary?  What is your ideal performance?  Are you hitting it?

If you’re not hitting it, I’m not going to ask you why not.  That conversation is for another time.  I’m going to ask you what, precisely, would you be doing if you were performing at your ideal level?  Would you be spending more time at something?  Would you be finishing things (in a more timely manner)?  Would you be talking to people you aren’t talking to?  Would you be hustling harder?  Would you be less complacent? Would you be getting better results?  Would your boss be happier with you?

What Would It Take?

Write down the things that you would be delivering if you were hitting your ideal job performance.  Be precise.  Look at the list.  What do you have to do differently than you are doing now to get those results?  Would you be on the Internet as much as you are?  Would you be taking hour lunches?  Would you be wasting your time in hour long meetings that could get the same results in 15 minutes?  Would you be going along to get along?  Would you be delegating better?  Leading more? Would you be more focused on what you are doing–all the time?

Do you work like you want to be the best?  Or do you work like you want to be “OK?”  The difference is a change in attitude.  Get serious about what you’re doing.  Don’t treat it like a job–9 to 5–it’ll be here tomorrow if I don’t get it done.  Treat it like a dead-serious goal.  You’ve GOT to get it done.  You’ve GOT to increase your performance.  You’ve GOT to keep it moving.

Try changing your attitude–even for a day and notice the difference.  It is much more fun, interesting and fulfilling when you are ALL IN.

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September 17, 2012 · 4:38 pm

Are You Making Mistakes On Purpose?

We all make mistakes.  Mistakes have consequences.  We learn from our mistakes and don’t make them again.  Or do we?  Sometimes, especially when you find yourself doing something over and over again—being late, forgetting to send something, leaving certain people off invitations, forgetting status reports, losing important information, doing things that make the boss mad—it isn’t just a mistake.  Sometimes it is self-sabotage.  Shooting yourself in the foot.  Failing on purpose (albeit sometimes unconsciously).  Proving that you aren’t ‘good enough,’ ‘ready for the position,’ ‘at the right level.’

Identity

Each of us has a self-image that pretty much dictates our identity.  I’m a mother, a daughter, an introvert, smart, good at math, an Executive, a business woman, etc., etc.  When something happens that challenges that identity, we have something called cognitive dissonance.  Cognitive dissonance is the experience of having two conflicting “cognitions”—ideas, thoughts, ‘mental models’—simultaneously.  This is so stressful to us that we take action to bring them into alignment.

For example, when I wrote “good at math” above (which I am not), I went back three different times to amend it.  I first put “(just kidding),” erased it and then put “not really,” erased that and then wrote “(wanna be)” in front of it.  I was so uncomfortable with writing something that is so much not a part of my identity that I had a really hard time leaving it unadorned while I wrote the rest of the paragraph.  If I have such a strong reaction to something so minuscule, imagine the difficulty I would have if something happened to challenge my “mother” or “business woman” or “Executive” identities.

This is why people who are laid off have such a hard time.  Most of us these days identify with what we do.  If we can’t do it anymore, then it is extremely painful.

Why Do We Self-Sabotage?

This is equally true of good things about our identity and bad things about it.  If we think badly about certain aspects of ourselves—that we aren’t good at math, or that we aren’t smart or that we shouldn’t be at an Executive-level, or that we aren’t likeable—then we will struggle to reconcile those two cognitions.  We will do things that prove, despite the fact that we just got promoted, or that we are being praised for a job well done, or that our boss likes us—that we don’t deserve the promotion, or being praised, or liked.  We will self-sabotage until we are back where we are most comfortable.  We will do things like miss important appointments, become unresponsive to assignments, or tell off our boss until we prove (to ourselves and others) that our self-image is right.

So How Do You Know If You’re Self-Sabotaging

Pay attention to what is going on.  Are there consistent patterns that keep you from getting to where (you think) you want?  Do you have the same experience in position after position, or in company after company, or in relationship after relationship?  Do you get uncomfortable when people praise you or when you are considered for/get a promotion?  Do you keep getting stuck at a certain level in organizations and not seem to be able to climb to the next rung, no matter what?  These can all be signs of self-sabotage.

Recognizing it is most of the battle.  If you see that you’re doing it, then you will have to do some really hard work to adjust your self-image.  If you never see it, however, you never have the opportunity to start changing.  Self-sabotage is related to your self-image.  Once you change your self-image, then stopping the self-sabotage is pretty easy.   You have already changed your self-image.  You don’t think the same of yourself as you did at 12 or 18 or 24 or . . .  You can change again, and again.  You just need to be more conscious, mindful and determined to create the self-image that you want.

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September 14, 2012 · 5:55 pm

How Do You Lead From the Middle?

Many people are frustrated by their managers.  We want our managers to live up to our expectations, our hopes, our projections.  We want them to be charismatic, thoughtful, insightful, inspirational, good communicators, etc., etc., etc.  Some managers are good, but few are perfect.  Some are far from even being good.  What if that is your manager?

Do you just stop?  Do you wait for that manager to get moved, fired, or retire?  Do you look for another job?  I vote that you do none of these things.  I vote that you start being a leader.  Get proactive.  Lead from where you are.

How Do You Lead From The Middle?

Figure Out What You Want To Accomplish

What is it that you think your manager should be doing but isn’t?  How can you accomplish that without your leader actually doing it?  Is it something that your manager’s manager has to agree to?  Or his peers?  If so, how can you persuade them?  How can you help them see the problem and the solution?  Maybe they can persuade your manager if his blessing is required.  Or maybe his blessing isn’t really required.  Think about it.  If his boss can bless it, then figure out how to make that happen.  If that is your goal, then you can get creative about how to do it.

What if no one really has to bless it?  What if you and your peers can do it if you are working together to do it.  How can you persuade your peers to do it?

Figure Out What Is In Your Way

So often it is our mind set about how the organization works that stands in our way of getting things done.  We think that the top has to tell the middle who has to tell the bottom to actually get things done.  That actually is not the best way for an organization to run.  Organizations are much more effective and well run if people step up and do what they can and leave the problems/the barriers/the white space to the upper levels.  In other words, your organization will be much better run if you actually step up and do what you know is right for the organization.

Obviously, some organizations don’t work this way.  Some managers get really threatened by this kind of behavior.  Don’t assume that is true of your organization, though, unless you test it out a bit.  I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.”  It certainly is more practical.  If you have to wait for someone to decide to focus on what you think needs to happen, to then be persuaded, and to then give permission, then you’ve just inserted significant delays into the process.  Take a long hard look at whether you’re deferring because you are conditioned to do that or because it really is not safe to go ahead without permission.

Being Proactive Is Really Career Enhancing

I’ve participated in hundreds of interviews over the course of my career.  When it is obvious that a candidate is likely to be proactive, to seek out ways to make things better without waiting to be told, then that candidate is much more likely to succeed in the process.  I’ve had people tell me that it is possible to tell whether someone has the education or the experience necessary to do the job, but very difficult to tell from the resume whether s/he is likely to be proactive.

Leading from the middle is simply being proactive.  See the problem.  Figure out how to fix it.  Fix it.  So much of it is attitude and confidence.  So next time you’re frustrated with your manager for not getting something done, ask yourself why you aren’t getting it done instead.

 

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September 12, 2012 · 10:09 pm

Why Doesn’t Your Team Work?

All of us get to spend time on teams.  Some of us spend all of our time on teams. There are terrible teams, good teams and great teams.  Most of us rarely get to spend much time on great teams.  For one thing, it takes time to build a great team–more than a few months, usually.  Few of us know how to build a good team, though, even with enough time.

Let’s talk about what makes a great team.

Unlike the common assumptions, great teams are not made up of friends, or people who are the same.  The best teams have lots of different kinds of people, with different temperments and skills.   Meredith Belbin, a British researcher who focuses on teams, started his research with the assumption that if he created a team of the smartest people–”A” players–then it would be a high performance team.  What he found was that intelligence itself was not enough.  A high performing team needs team members with a variety of skills and perspectives.  He identified the following roles necessary for a high performance team:

  • Plant:  Someone who is creative and who brings ideas to the table. (For my non-British readers:  think of this as someone who is embedded in the team who is a source of ideas.)  Someone who looks at things differently and is the team problem solver.
  • Resource Investigator: Someone who is the networker of the group.  Someone who is ‘connected’ in a way that helps the team find the resources and/or sources for whatever they need to be able to deliver team results.
  • Chairman (called the  Coordinator after 1988): Someone who ensures a balance among the members of the team–making sure that they all contribute to discussions and decisions. Someone who makes the goals clear, and ensures that the roles and responsibilities are clear.
  • Shaper:   Someone who challenges team members and who pushes them to overcome barriers.  Someone who pushes for agreement and decisions.
  •  Monitor-Evaluator:  Someone who is able to point out the challenges to other people’s solutions.  Someone who sees all the options, asks questions, points out the issues.
  • Team Worker: Someone who focuses on the interpersonal relationships within the team.  Someone who is sensitive to the nuances among the interactions of the team members.  Someone who helps ensure the long-term cohesion among team members.  Someone who helps deal with conflict, the group mediator.
  • Company Worker ( Implementor after 1988):  Someone who can figure out how to create the systems and processes that get the team the results they want.  Someone who is practical and pragmatic.
  • Completer Finisher:   Someone who is detail-oriented.  Someone who sees the defects before anyone else.  Someone who is clear on where the team is in relationship to its deadlines.  Someone who focuses on completing tasks, finding errors, making deadlines and staying on schedule.
  • Specialist: Someone who brings specialized knowledge to the team, like someone who is the Finance expert, or the Supply Chain expert or the Contract specialist.

Remember, these are ROLES, not people.  One person can potentially fill more than one role, but ideally not more than two.  We are more naturally comfortable in some of these roles than others.  The Plant (the idea person) is usually not good at being a Monitor–figuring out all the problems with the ideas.  Many of these role-fillers drive others crazy.  They balance each other out and reduce the risks of rushing to decisions or dragging to decisions or running people off or being too focused on deadlines or too focused on people or too focused on details.  Belbin has written several books on his research on teams.

When team members are presented with Belbin’s Team Role Assessments® it is amazing how they stop being irritated with each other and start appreciating the traits that had previously driven them all nuts.

Let’s Talk About the Work of Being a High Performance Team

The “who” of a team is only half the battle, though.  The other part of a high performance team is the work that teams have to go through to become great.  There are two models that help describe that work.  The first is the Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing stages of Bruce Tuckman’s model of group development.  Most of us have heard of this one.  It is useful to acknowledge that group behavior goes through stages and movement through these stages is necessary to develop the trust and authentic interactions necessary to be a good team.

The other model is less well-known, but is the one that I’ve taught to my graduate management classes.  It is the Drexler-Sibbett Team Performance ™ Model.  The Drexler-Sibbett Model acknowledges that team development is dynamic.  Teams have set backs, add people, change goals, get new managers, have failures, traumas, successes and constantly need to back up and ‘re-do’  some stage in the team’s development.  It is this focus on dynamic/interactive progress and re-setting that seems to me to be extremely realistic.  The Drexler-Sibbett stages are:

  • Orientation:  Why am I here? (Note–it isn’t why are we here–if you don’t answer for each and every person why s/he is there, they won’t even begin to engage.)
  • Trust Building: Who are you? and you? and you?  (Most ‘team building’ activities are focused on this stage.
  • Goal Clarification: What are we doing here? Few teams get very clear on goals.  They rarely get past the goals of all the individuals to the team goal.  The person from finance is there to protect finance’s interests, the person from IT is there to protect IT’s interest.  It is only when the individual goals are replaced by the team goal that the team begins to move to high performance.
  • Commitment:  How are we going to do it?  This gets into the messy part of resources, who, when, how.  This is when the theory and planning turn into reality and the trouble really starts.
  • Implementation:   Who does what, when, where and how.  The real stuff.  Things start to be hard.  Things start to get delivered.  Things don’t work and have to get fixed.  Misunderstandings and mistakes are uncovered and dealt with.  The struggle and the payoff happen in this stage.
  • High Performance: This is where things really hum.  People cooperate and trust and do and finish things.
  • Renewal:  This is where it all starts again.

The important concept of this model is that teams move forward and backward as the situation warrants.  New people come in, the Orientation and Trust Building stages may need to be done again (sometimes in an abbreviated way).  If Implementation isn’t working, then Commitment may need a refresh.

A Powerful Career Tool

Getting teams to high performance is hard work.   It can’t be done through a team building exercise, or through the boss announcing what the goals are.  Learning to build great teams, however, can be enormously helpful in getting you to the next level of your career.  People who know the mechanics of building great teams can do it over and over and over.  They can do it in different organizations and they can  deliver different kinds of goals.  They can do it at all levels of the organization and in all sizes of organizations.  Well worth learning!

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September 7, 2012 · 4:19 pm

How Do You Get Noticed?

Do You Get Noticed?

Do you feel like you work as hard as every one else?  Do you feel like your deliverables are better than others?  Do you feel like no one notices how hard you work, or how good your work is?  You may be right.  Working hard, in and of itself, isn’t usually enough to be noticed.  Doing great work isn’t the only thing that people get judged on.

During my time as a manager and an executive, I usually noticed people who were:

Proactive:  People who don’t wait to be asked to do things, but who suggest that they can contribute, or who even just do it usually stand out.  When you think of it from the manager’s perspective, making sure that you’ve circled back with everyone and made sure that they know what to do, when to do it, how to do it, adds to the job.  If you have someone who steps up and suggests or asks if they should do something, lifts some of the load.  If you show that you are seeing more of the big picture and some of the things that need to get done, then you have marked yourself as having potential beyond your current position.

High Energy:  People who display high energy stand out in a crowd.  They are fun to be around (even for managers).  Not only do they usually do a lot of work, they are perceived at doing more than they do because they just keep at it.

Able to Jump on Something and FINISH It:  Part of this is being obvious about starting and part of this is being obvious about finishing.  Some people are good at one of these and others are good at the other, but it is the people who are consistently good at both who get noticed.  These people who seem to start quickly and consistently and obviously finish the job are the ones that managers and executives come to rely on.

An Expert:  Become the specialist on something.  Become known in your organization as the person to go to for answers with . . . whatever.   Make sure you are quite knowledgeable on the things that are important to doing your job, but also on the things that your boss thinks are important.

Able to Get Things Done With Other People:  People who are networked, who work well in teams, who are persuasive, who are leaders–basically, who get things done through/with other people consistently get noticed.  It is a surprisingly rare talent.

Not a Diva:  People who take more energy to deal with than they are worth don’t last long.  The thing is–if you are worth a lot, people are willing to deal with a lot.  Its hard to know when you cross over that line.  It is just better to not take a lot of work to deal with so that you won’t be surprised when they get tired of your drama.  (Of course, you have to NOT BE A DIVA in addition to one or more of the others  to be visible–just NOT BEING A DIVA is not noticable in most organizations.  People who are the noticeable in the ways listed above, but who are also divas, are noticed in good ways.)

What Kinds of People Do You Notice?

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September 5, 2012 · 9:38 pm

Can’t Trust Your Boss?

What is Trust?

First, let’s talk about what trust is.  Trust is the ability to rely on a particular response from another person.  If I trust you, then I’m pretty sure that you’ll do what I expect you to do and if you don’t, I’m pretty sure that there was a good reason why you didn’t do it.  If I trust you, I give you the benefit of the doubt.  If I don’t trust you, then I don’t think you’ll do what I need you to do, and if you say you’ll do it, I don’t really give you the benefit of the doubt.

In our world, we trust a lot of people, and they deserve it.  We trust that someone at the electric company will do his/her job and that our electricity will stay on.  We trust that someone will deliver the food to the grocery store and that it will be there when we go to buy it.  The grocery store trusts that we will pay for the groceries with legal money and that we won’t steal the food instead of paying for it. We trust that people will drive on the correct side of the street and that teachers will actually teach our children.  We trust pilots to follow the rules in flying their planes.  We trust (rely) in standard behaviors.

BUT, we don’t trust bankers not to set up deals that are unfair.  We don’t trust politicians.  We don’t trust lawyers.  We don’t trust . . .  complete your list.  Well, actually, the truth is that we do trust these folks according to my definition of trust.  We trust (rely on a particular response) that these folks are going to act in their own interest.  (Yeah, yeah, I know there are bankers, politicians and lawyers who don’t act in their own interest –but you’d never know it by talking to most people/listening to the news, etc.)  So . . . if we use my definition of trust, what can you trust your boss to do?

What Can You Trust Your Boss To Do?

This is a serious question—what can you rely on your boss to do consistently?  Good or bad? 

  • Does he show up?
  • Does she help you understand what the organization is trying to accomplish?  The vision?
  • Is he clear about what you should be doing?  Your deadlines?
  • Does she take your side with your peers?  With her peers? With her boss?
  • Does he always disagree with you?
  • Does she act in your interest?  In her interest?  When conflicted, which way does she come down?

When you use my definition of trust–able to rely on a particular response–chances are good that you actually CAN trust your boss more than you think you can.  There are probably consistent responses that you see from your boss.  When you say you can’t trust your boss, you aren’t likely using my definition of trust.  You more likely mean that you think your boss will act in his/her own interest instead of  yours when faced with the choice.

We All Act In Our Own Self-Interest

There are even those who argue that altruists are acting in their own interest.  I don’t know if I’d take it that far, but we all have lines that we draw.  Most of us would put our children, our families, our communities over others.  It’s hard not to choose to for yourself, even when you feel conflicted between your own good and the greater good. It’s pretty human. If you feel that your boss chooses his/her own self interest every time over your self interest, you are probably right.  S/he may not even see it that way.  S/he may be in denial about it.  Regardless, it is likely you don’t like it.  BUT if it happens on a regular basis, then you can rely on that particular response.  You can trust your boss to act in a way that you don’t like–to act in his/her own interest instead of yours.

Shift the Way You Look at This

If you can rely (trust) on your boss to act in a certain way, you can begin to figure out how to use your boss’ reactions, by learning to get consistent reactions, to be successful.  If you can stop feeling hurt/distrustful/unhappy about the fact that your boss doesn’t act in your interest, but rather in his own, then you can learn how to get consistent reactions from your boss.  If you want your boss to do something in particular, how can you frame her decision so that she sees it as a decision in her self interest?  If your boss consistently decides things to support ‘favorites’ then figure out how to frame the decision as supporting those folks.

As long as you are struggling to get things done in a way that protects your self-interest, or is for the ‘greater good,’ and are frustrated and angry because your boss doesn’t do that, you aren’t succeeding.  If you reframe it for your boss–you can think of it in any way you like–so that your boss feels like he is making the decision for whatever his purposes are, then the decision can go the way you want it to.  You win.  Why the hell do you care that the boss isn’t making the decision for the ‘right’ reason?  You win. 

See–you CAN trust your boss–even if you can’t.

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