Category Archives: Career Development

October 20, 2013 · 8:57 pm

If You’ve Been In Your Job 10 Years, Wake Up. Read This. In Fact, Read This Even If You Haven’t Been In Your Job 10 Years.

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You’re too expensive

If you’ve been in your job 10 years, you’re too expensive.  For the company.  I don’t mean that you personally aren’t worth the money you’re making.  I mean that you aren’t worth it to the company.  Think about it.  You were hired with (presumably) enough skills to do the job you’re doing.  You’ve gotten regular raises–again, presumably.  Your skills might have increased as well.  BUT YOU HAD ENOUGH SKILLS TO DO THE JOB WHEN YOU WERE HIRED.  So what is the added value for the company?  Whether they admit it or not (and it is mostly not), companies lay off employees who have been with the company for a long time in the same job.  Then they hire employees at entry level prices.  Companies may or may not hire younger people.  It really doesn’t matter.  They hire cheaper.

They put you out on the street. 

And what do you have to sell to your next employer?  That’s the key for both of these situations.  You need to figure out how to add value to the organization that is at least commensurate with your increased income, and you need to figure out how to add saleable skills to yourself so that when (and I don’t really believe it is ‘if ‘ for most of us) you are put out, you land on your feet in a better situation, and if you’re smart you see it coming and land first.

I’m a major believer in managing your own career and not relying on your company to do that for you.  You certainly may have a manager, or a series of managers, who really believe in developing people and creating situations that allow them to succeed in their career.  Count your self blessed, but year after year, your chances of keeping this kind of boss are slim.  YOU need to manage your career.  You need to put yourself into situations where you are continuing to grow and develop and move up the organization, so that when it comes time to put people out on the street it never occurs to anyone to come after you.

Think about it from the company’s perspective–what are you adding over and above what they hired you for that make you worth more to the company?

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June 24, 2013 · 10:04 pm

Do You Need More Education To Grow Your Career?

Do You Need Education?How Do You Decide?

I recently have had a couple of folks let me know that they have completed the next level of their education.  One of them reminded me that I had responded to his “I’ll be x years old when I finish my PhD” by saying “You’ll be x years old anyway, you might as well have a PhD when that happens.”  That sounds like something I’d say.  And I stand by that.  I don’t believe that you’re ever too old to get more education, and I think education by itself is extremely valuable.  Given that, though, with the price of education today and the sacrifice it takes—away from family and aspects of work—I think it is worth asking whether or not you need more education to accelerate your career.

Let’s Start With What Are Your Career Goals

What do you want to do with your career?  What are your career goals?  What industry, company, level, function, job?  In what time frame?  I know, I know—you don’t know.  You don’t have to know precisely—you need to know generally.

  1.  What industry?

Industry is important.  Do you want to be in the same industry that you’re in now?  Do you want to be in a different industry?  Does your industry require a certain level of education for you to be credible?

If you industry requires a level of education to get to your career goal, or if you want to move into an industry that requires education then, YES, you need more education.

  1. What company?

What is the standard in your company?  Look at the Executives.  Do they all have advanced degrees?  Do most of them?  Are there classes of those with degrees—those who’ve been around for a long time don’t have degrees and those who are newer do have degrees.  When they recruit, what are they looking for?  (It’s important to do this analysis on a pretty regular basis and look at everything the company is recruiting for, not just education).  If your company has a record of promoting from within, and those who get promoted don’t necessarily have advanced degrees, then NO, you probably don’t need more education.

There are many ways to get your ticket punched.  Quite frankly, getting education is the easiest.  Degrees come with the assumption that you know what you need to do.  You can certainly know what you need to know without formal education.  It is just harder to prove to decision makers (including those who hold your career in their hands) that you know what you need to know without that degree or certification.  In fact, I am self-taught in my primary area of expertise—organizational change management and organizational effectiveness.  People who decide to hire me are generally looking for a degree in this area for confirmation of my abilities.  I have to show them experience and writing and references to overcome my deficiency of related formal education.  I’ve always managed to do it.

 

 

  1. What function?

 

Within companies and industries there are different education expectations within different functions.  Finance people may be expected to have an advanced degree in Finance or an MBA or be a CPA, while technical resources may be expected to have a first degree in computer technology, but experience or certifications in certain systems or languages are much more important than additional degrees.  On the other hand, portfolios may be more important than education or certifications for graphic artists.

The standard within the function within the company can help you decide whether you need more education.

*******Remember, however, that career portability is always a consideration.  Does the company you are using to make user decision follow the standards for the industry? *********

  1. What level?

 

What level do you want to reach?  CEO?  A recent U.S. News analysis of Fortune 500 CEOs indicated that of the 500 CEOs,  35 didn’t graduate from college.  Two hundred had M.B.A.’s and about 140 had other graduate degrees. So . . . do you have to have a degree to be a CEO?  Probably YES, you need an undergraduate degree, probably NO, you don’t need a graduate degree.  But then, it depends on the other factors—industry, company, experience, getting your ticket punched.

People could argue that some of the best CEOs (and then they could argue about ‘best’ too) of our times—Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Richard Branson, Barry Diller—didn’t have undergraduate degrees—why do you need one.  You don’t.  Do you have a killer idea and the energy, stamina and luck to drive it to market and beyond?  If you don’t have a killer idea, then what skills do you have and how do you provide that you have them to the computers and people who are screening your resume and track record.  Do you get results (and can prove it)?  Then you are less likely to have to have additional education.

What about to be a mid-level manager or entry-level Executive?  An MBA or other business degree helps.  It helps because it provides you with an overview, with some depth, on how you run a business and how you get an organization to deliver results.  To be a mid-level manager or entry-level Executive, YES, probably you do need a formal education. (Again, it depends on the industry, company, function . . . but it does help get your foot in the door and provides you credibility that you know what you’re doing.)

 

  1. What job?

 

Obviously, if you want to be a medical doctor, you need a lot of formal education.  If you want to be a hospital administrator, it probably it isn’t a requirement.  If you work at an organization that requires all Executives to have degrees, then you do.

Even If You Don’t HAVE to Get a Degree/Certification, Should You?

 

Again, it depends:

  • How important is a Degree/Certification/More Education to YOU?

 

Many of us were raised to think that people with an education were “better.”  Our families valued degrees, and we were taught to have that as a goal.  Many of us think that we need a degree to be more valuable.  If this is a big deal—even if you went through the analysis above about whether your career goals require more education—you should consider getting that education.  Self-respect and pride are important for personal happiness and career success.

 

  • Do You Find Learning Fun?  Do You Do That More Easily In A More Formal Setting?

 

If you can afford it, and have the time, then by all means—get more education.  It can’t hurt (except in some cases, a PhD—I’ve seen hiring managers not hire PhDs because they thought they were too academic).

Can You Afford It?

Start with a ROI analysis.  What will it cost?  What will the return be?  It’s perfectly ok to  put intrinsic returns in—that’s what you’re evaluating when you decide to buy a big boat or a vacation home—but you do have to weigh the costs too.  The dollars spent for the education v. the dollars spent for a better school (which might help with being a more credible candidate for career acceleration –65 (13%) of Fortune 500 CEOs have degrees from Harvard) v time spent away from family v likely increase in income over your lifetime v how much better you’ll feel about yourself.  Just don’t do this assuming that it will automatically pay off in all the ways you think.  Investigate this carefully.

 

 

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June 4, 2013 · 12:27 am

My Boss Is Young Enough To Be My Child!

Mental Model of Boss

Younger Bosses

It happens to all of us–no matter how successful we are–if you stay in the workforce long enough, you’re going to have a boss younger than you.  Why does this matter?  Why do you care?  Yeah, yeah, it shouldn’t, but to most of us it does.  I’ll go back to harping about mental models.  We have a mental model of what a boss is and that we need to look up to a boss and someone who is younger doesn’t deserve that.  So why does our mental model require that our boss be older than us?  Back in the day, when people entered the organization immediately after high school or college and then moved up the organization step by step, the bosses were 55-65 year old men who retired and made room for the next person  (Oh, by the way, back in those same days, women only had some non-boss roles –I very specifically remember when people (both men and women) had the same issues with women bosses–bosses were NOT supposed to be women!!).  I know there are lots of people who don’t remember those days.  Most of the people, though, who are struggling with younger bosses now do remember those days.  In fact they are mostly from those days.  Things are different now.  It’s time to change our mental models.

I certainly had the experience of working for bosses who were older than me who were not as smart, or knowledgeable or skilled at their job as me (I’m sure it was no one who reads this blog, though:-)).  Age didn’t have anything to do with this.  Neither did race or gender or even educational backgrounds.  You aren’t guaranteed good bosses.  Given that, though, good bosses come in all shapes, sizes, ages, genders and educational backgrounds.  There are people who are younger than you who have more knowledge than you about somethings.  There are people who have less education, less experience, or talent who can be good bosses for you.  Good bosses bring what the job and the team need AT THE TIME.  So change your mental model.  Start thinking about what you need in a boss and stop assuming that someone younger than you can’t bring it.  I know twenty-somethings who are better people managers than most of the middle managers that I know.  I know fifty-somethings who can explain technology better than tech professors.  One of the very best Executives I ever knew only had a high school education, but he sure knew how to gather information and make a quick and effective decision.  He had an instinct that I’ve never seen in anyone before or since.  I had a female boss, back in the days when that was rare, who focused so completely on the customer that she changed the culture (and the profits) of the organization.  She did it before it was “THE THING TO DO.”

Mental Model Actual Bosses

My point is that you’ve GOT to stop thinking about bosses as if they should be a certain gender, race, education or age.  Ask yourself what your boss brings to the table.  What does s/he bring that you don’t have?  How and what can you learn from him?  How can you improve the chemistry/relationship with her?  How can you earn his respect?  Unless you are knocking at retirement’s door, this is not the last boss you will have.  Bosses will come in more different versions as our world changes.  Get used to it.  Get good at it.  Especially if you want to be the boss.

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May 13, 2013 · 10:03 am

Reflections on Being a Mother, Working and “Leaning In”

Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is a great day to reflect on being a mother.  And on being a mother who works.  And on the controversy over Sharon Sandberg’s new book, Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead.  I come from a family of working mothers.  My mother worked.  Her mother worked.  It frankly never occurred to me not to work. It never occurred to me to hold back or not be ambitious (something that Ms. Sandburg says that some women do). I guess I was lucky–I had models of working mothers who managed both jobs and families. I had the luxury of having a husband who believed that I should work, who supported me in working and who carried close to a 50/50 load at home (he traveled more than me for many years, so it wasn’t 50/50 in those years).  My kids were adequately cared for–if not perfectly cared for; my house was never really clean, and my career worked well enough–until I got near the top of the organization.  Whatever the reason for my not becoming a C-suite-r, it wasn’t because I was a mother or because I cut corners because I had a family.  Or maybe it was.  Maybe the people above me made decisions about my career taking my family into consideration.  I don’t know.  I just know that a certain point I chose to leave the organization where I worked because I definitely wasn’t going up any more and there were interesting opportunities for me outside of working for that company.

The bottom line is that being a mother is very important. Working is very important(to some). Being at the top is very important (to some). You have to find your balance among them. You have to find your own happiness.  There are prices–guilt, being tired, dirty houses, missed soccer games. As long as you’re being driven by your own values and dreams you can make it work. I have two very successful daughters, in part because they had a model to follow.  My successful sons regularly do more than 50%.  I guess they had a model too.

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April 28, 2013 · 2:29 pm

Who Are You And How Did You Get That Way?

In the mirror

Understand Yourself

One of the most important tasks of becoming a great leader and a successful Executive (and those things are not necessarily the same thing) is to REALLY understand yourself.  You need to understand what makes you tick–what motivates you, what slows you down, what scares you and what gets in your way.  You need to understand how others see you.  You also need to understand that what goes on in your head is absolutely invisible to those around you.  They don’t know why you do what you do and they certainly don’t know what you are thinking.  You need to understand your strengths and your weaknesses, your learning style and your interpersonal style.  And then you need to show enough of your internal workings and motivations to help others understand you.

We all think we know ourselves.  We are mostly wrong.  That is why it is really good to get feedback from others.  I highly recommend getting 360 assessments done–pretty regularly.  These are assessments that get feedback from you, your boss and your subordinates.  When you look at your opinion of yourself against that of your boss and your subordinates, you frequently get a surprise.   If your boss doesn’t agree with your opinion of yourself, then it’s important to note the differences.  If your subordinates don’t agree with you and your boss about your strengths–another important factor.  These instruments just measure behaviors, though–what can actually be seen.  When you get feedback that indicates behaviors that can derail your career, it is important that you CHANGE that behavior.  It is possible for you to change your behavior without understanding how and why you do what you do.  You just change.  Right?  Most of us can’t do that.

The Why of Your Behavior

When I identify that I need to change a behavior–interpersonal interactions, eating, exercising, time management–it really helps me to understand WHY I do (or don’t do) what I do.  For example, I used to get feedback that I was “unreadable.”  As I tried to figure out why people thought that, I also tried to figure out WHY I was unreadable.  What did they mean that I was unreadable?  I started asking people (not the one’s who had given the feedback, but others):  “What does it mean when people say I’m unreadable?  Why do they care? What could I do differently?”  The answers surprised me.  It turns out that I used few happy facial expressions.  I wasn’t aware of this.  Whether I was happy, pissed or someplace in between, I was using the same facial expressions. I had very neutral (or so I thought) facial expressions.   I really wasn’t aware of this.  When I thought long and hard about it,  I realized that some things had happened in my childhood that made me very guarded about my thoughts and feelings.  OK.  That was legitimate.  Then.  Those things no longer existed.  And not only that, it was interfering with my effectiveness as a leader because when left to their own imagination, people frequently assume the worse (that I’m pissed AT THEM).  I was able to (deliberately) change this because I was made aware of it, I asked about it to understand it, and then I could persuade myself that the coping behavior from my childhood was no longer necessary.  I was able to change more easily with this realization.

Some of the things that can impact the way your are and can shape your behaviors as a leader are:

  • Your birth order and your relationships with your siblings
  • Your relationships with your parents
  • Your beliefs about how things work (your mental models)
  • Your beliefs about the “rules” of organizations
  • What you believe about hierarchy and how that fits with your organization, your boss and your subordinates
  • Your beliefs about what makes people tick (Theory X, Theory Y)
  • What you believe about people’s responsibility to the organization and the organization’s responsibility to people

Start With Feedback

It all starts with feedback, though.  You can’t know what behaviors are really working and not working unless people tell you.  They probably won’t tell you unless you ask them.  Once you know the behaviors that you should address, think long and hard about where those behaviors come from.  Then do something about it.

Then Change

Sooner rather than later.

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March 29, 2013 · 9:24 am

Are You Stuck?

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Have you noticed that you’re not moving up in your organization any more?  Have your last couple of job changes been laterals?  Have your last couple of reviews been ho-hum? Are you starting to get the message that you’re stuck in your career trajectory?  There are some common causes and, believe it or not, some things that YOU can do about it.

Are You Bored?

Do you find yourself finding other things to do (other than your job) at work?  Are you consistently late for work and early to leave? Do you think you can do your job in your sleep? Have you done it and done it and done it and don’t want to do it anymore? Do you remember when you were challenged by the tasks of your job, but that was a long time ago?  Boredom is a common cause of burnout and demotivation in a job.  And it shows.  You may be the most experienced, the one with the longest tenure, but if you aren’t engaged with your job, it shows.  People who aren’t engaged don’t get promoted.  People who are bored are obvious about being bored.  People who are bored don’t get promoted.

Are You Under-Performing?

Have you noticed that people are passing you up?  Are they getting promoted (or appreciated and recognized) when you sit there like chopped liver?  This is the time to be really honest with yourself.  Are you really performing as well as them?  I know you’ve been telling yourself that you are, but are you really?  Are you making deadlines?  Are you over-delivering?  Are you looking for ways to improve what you do?  Are you looking at what you boss (and her boss) needs and trying to figure out how to get that done in addition to what you’re supposed to work on?  If your peers are over-performing, then you aren’t making the cut if you are merely performing.

Do You Have an “Attitude”?  That Shows?

Are you pissed?  Are you aware that you’ve been treated unfairly, badly, been ‘wronged’?  If so it shows.  No matter how much you try to keep it under wraps, it shows.  If it shows, people back off from you.  They can ‘feel’ your anger.  They certainly don’t promote angry people-even people who are out-performing others.

Are You Falling Behind?

We are constantly barraged by new systems, new tools, new processes at work.  Are you up-to-date on all of them?  Even the ones that you don’t need to use very often?  These tools, systems and processes change the way our minds work.  If you’re not keeping up, then you mind is not in sync with your co-workers’ minds.  Or your bosses.  People who can’t do the latest systems and tools rationalize it–I can do the same thing–the old way.  That may be true.  For a while.  Then others can take it to the next level and then the level beyond that.  And you can’t go there with the old way.  You may not even know what you can’t do if you don’t understand the new way.  Think about the things that you don’t do.  Texting?  Excel Pivot tables? Macs? Photoshop? Prezi? Dropbox?  Get with it. Do it.  Keep up.

Are You Being Rigid?

This is somewhat related to the item above, but that is more about tools and systems.  This is more about the way you think.  Are you open to new ideas?  I do organizational change management for major organizational changes.  I do a lot of ‘readiness’ workshops.  I see the rigid ones.  They are hard to get to the sessions.  They sit in the back and glare.  They bring up all the ways/reasons/causes that this won’t work.  My personal favorite, “We tried this before.”  Everyone resists some changes–that is completely normal.  If you resist all changes, if you are the one who knows all the ways and reasons this won’t work, then you aren’t fun to have around.  You certainly aren’t likely to be promoted.

Are You Not A Good Fit For Your Organization Anymore?

Organizations change.  People change.  Just like with marriages, sometimes you’ve grown apart.  Sometimes it’s time to move on.  The hard part is knowing when.  I used to work for an organization that was fairly small when I started and very large when I left.  It was a midwestern company when I started and an European conglomerate when I left.  It had one kind of product when I started and lots of kinds of products when I left.  Over the course of time from when I started and when I left there was an ebb and flow to the ‘fit’ for me.  Some management changes made it worse and some made it better.  Some positions were good fits for me and some were lousy.  In the end, it was me who had changed the most.  It was me who figured out what I liked about the work I had done for this company and figured out that I could find more of that kind of work as a consultant than as an employee at that company. It was a gradual evolutionary change in the relationship.  It happens.  It takes considerable thought and analysis to figure out whether it is a normal ebb and flow in the relationship or time to move on.  When it is time, either for you or the organization, then it isn’t likely that you will keep moving up.

What Do You Do?

Even if you decide that the fit isn’t right, there are things you can do in the mean time.  You have to really be honest with yourself.

  • If you’re bored, figure out how you can start to out-perform your peers.
  • Figure out how you can over-deliver.  Figure out how, in addition to your normal responsibilities, how to deliver something that your boss really needs.
  • If you’re angry, get some professional help to understand where it is coming from and to decide what to do about it.
  • If you are behind on the technology or systems or processes in your organization, then dedicate yourself to catching up and becoming an expert.
  • If you’re rigid, start to experiment with loosening up.  If you find yourself having a negative reaction to an idea, explore–privately at first–what would actually be the worst thing that could happen if the event took place.  Little steps can take you a long way to letting go of your rigidity.  Once you’re comfortable with letting go a little, then start to be more vocal about that openness.
  • If you are not a good fit for your organization, figure out why not, what you need in an organization and then GO FIND IT.
  • Any and all of these will relieve your boredom.  When you are experimenting with new behavior and thinking, it is really hard to be bored.

When your boss and peers see changes in you, it is highly likely that your upward trajectory will restart.

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February 10, 2013 · 2:11 pm

Mentor Me, Mentor You

Find a Mentor.  Use a Mentor. Be a Mentor.

I’m sure you’re always hearing the advice that you need a mentor.  In fact, you’ve even heard it from me.    Why do people keep giving that advice?   There is research that  supports the theory that people with mentors are more successful, get promoted faster and are happier on the job. It certainly has been my personal experience.   My mentors guided me over rough spots, taught me things that I needed to know, and told me things straight that no one else would.

What Do Mentors Do That Helps?

  • Provide One-On-One Support
  • Provide A Different Organizational Perspective (and Usually a Better One)
  • Provide Help With Organizational Politics
  • Provide a Power Boost to Your Network
  • Provide a Different Generational Perspective
  • Provide Some Problem or Task Specific Guidance
  • Hold You Accountable
  • Help Make the Unknown Knowable

Help and support signpost

Types Of Mentoring Relationships

  • Developmental– These mentors help you grow your abilities and skills.  They teach, model and guide.
  • Sponsorship–These mentors can open doors to you–help you get into a school or an organization.
  • Hierarchical–Most of us think of mentors/mentees as  a ‘Senior Person in Organization/Junior Person in  the Organization’ model.  This is probably the most standard kind of mentor relationship in career development.
  • Expertise–This relationship between an expert and a novice can be based on knowledge, skill or experience.  This mentor can help with specific or global learning.
  • Boss Mentors, Boss’ Boss Mentors, Boss’ Peer Mentors–Bosses can be good mentors, as can their peers or bosses.  These mentor relationships have to be handled with a little more care since there are potential negative ramifications if it doesn’t work out.
  • Career, Dream, Life–Mentors come in many flavors.  They can help your career trajectory.  They can also help you achieve your dream–start a business, write a book, learn to cook.  They can also help you with other aspects of a great life–being a good husband, father, golfer, healthy.
  • Generational Mentors–Most mentor relationships are between older mentors and younger mentees.  Consider getting a younger mentor–they definitely have a different perspective.  If you can get over thinking that your perspective is “right,” through a relationship with a younger mentor, then you will be far better off than you are now. Younger mentors know things that you don’t know and their mental models are different.  Sooner or later, you will work for someone younger than you.  Who better to help you get good at than than someone of the same generation.

How Do You Find A Mentor?

What Do You Want From A Mentor?

Get very clear about why you want a mentor.  ‘Just cause’ isn’t good enough.  When you think about your career, or your life, or your progress, what is missing.  How do you think a mentor can help you?  What are your goals?  What do you need to know?  What do you need to do?  Investigate whether your organization already has a  mentoring program that would help you.  Even if you aren’t eligible for some reason–find out how it works, how mentors/mentees are chosen.  You might want to model it for yourself.  Based on your goals and gaps, who could help you?

How Do You Pick?

  • Think of someone who is where you want to be.
  • Think of someone who you like.
  • Think of someone who knows how to do something that you need to know how to do.
  • Think of someone who is well-connected to people who could help you.
  • Think of someone who is a thought leader in your field.
  • Think outside your organization.  Is there someone in another organization (not a competitor) who can help you understand? (Try using LinkedIn’s Advanced Search)
  • Think virtual–your mentor doesn’t have to be physically present–not today.
  • Think more than one–I once worked with a very successful man who had three–two for different aspects of his business and one for balance.

How Do You Ask Someone to Be a Mentor?

First of all, don’t wait.  Mentors can be major accelerators for career performance.  Just the questions they ask can cause you to change your performance.  I know it is hard to approach someone, especially someone you don’t know well, and ask them to help you on something as personal and important as your career.  Push yourself to do it.

  • Start small.  Ask for some advice.  Reply to a blog post.  Go speak to the person after a presentation or speech.  Comment on a book.  Ask for an interview for an article, a blog, a presentation. Seek an introduction through LinkedIn.
  • Gauge the reaction to the first encounter.  How did it feel to interact with the person?  How open did the person seem.  Don’t give up after the first encounter.  Find another way to interact again.
  • Be proactive.  Get noticed.
  • Once noticed, ask.  Ask if the person would be willing to be your mentor.  Or ask if the person would be willing to have an occasional conversation about your career.  Ask if the person will advise you about how your project.  Or, based on her experience and career path, what she would suggest as next career steps for you.
  • Don’t get too formal too quickly.
  • Be clear and honest on who you are, what you need, what you can provide.  (In a recent LinkedIn survey on women mentors, most women said they had never been mentors because . . . wait for it . . . they had never been asked.

If your first or second encounter with the person doesn’t “feel” right, then don’t continue.  Mentor relationships are dependent on the chemistry between the two parties to work well.  You certainly can learn from people you don’t ‘click’ with, but a long-term, ongoing mentor relationship works best if there is a connection between the two.  It works best if both people genuinely care about each other and want to contribute to the success of the encounters and each person’s goals.  If the person you seek out declines, move on.  I know you hear it all the time, but IT ISN’T PERSONAL.  He is busy.  She feels uncomfortable at the idea of being a mentor.  He doesn’t want to run afoul of your boss.  She doesn’t believe bosses are good mentors.  Whatever his/her reason, articulated or not, move on.  Find someone else.  There are thousands of people (at least) out there who can be just as good a mentor as the one you just asked.

How Do You Get the Most Out Of A Mentor Relationship?

  • Straight Talk:   The most important thing in a mentor relationship is to create an environment where your mentor feels comfortable being straight with you.  It is an incredible gift to get clear and unencumbered feedback about yourself, you skills, the way others perceive you and WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT.  If you overreact, get emotional or aren’t straight yourself, you will have some nice conversations, but you will not have a powerful mentor relationship.
  • Work It, It’s Up To You:  The success of the relationship and the subsequent results are UP TO YOU.  You do the work.  It is your career or dream or life.  You get the answers, the feedback, the ideas and THEN YOU WORK IT.
  • Don’t Waste Their Time: Treat the relationship and its output like the gift that it is.  Be grateful.  Reciprocate.  Don’t think that because you are lower down the hierarchy or are younger or less educated that you don’t bring something to the table.  You bring a different perspective.  Anytime you (or your mentor) sees things differently, you become more powerful and more capable of better solutions.

Become A Mentor Yourself, And Get Even More Out Of It

If you think having a mentor is good, being a mentor is better.  Having to articulate your knowledge, perspective, theory of success or providing “how-to” knowledge makes you better.  It opens you up to new ideas and provides you with energy and motivation.  It is a really great experience.

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February 4, 2013 · 7:25 am

Are You Too Old To Get a (New) Job?

iStock_000016076327XSmallHow Old Is Old? 

Lately the theme of being too old has continued to pop up in my coaching practice like a Whack-A- Mole game on steroids.  The ironic thing is that the people who have brought it up have ranged from 39 to 60.  These people are not making this up out of whole cloth.  They are getting a signal from something or someone that they are too old to do the job they want to do.  Is there an age that is too old for a job?  Of course there is.  Ninety years old is (probably) too old to do the Tour de France.  So . . . there is probably an age that is too old to do some kinds of physical jobs.  How about mental jobs?  I personally doubt it.  There are people who are as mentally agile in their nineties as some 25 year olds.  I am not saying that all 90 year olds are, but there are some.  And there are some 90 year olds that would be better employees than some 25 year olds.  There aren’t many 90 year olds out there looking for jobs, so let’s talk about my 30-60 year olds who are being put aside because they are “too old.”

Let’s start with what is going on in the job seeker’s head.  Are there other reasons that they aren’t getting the job that they are attributing to being too old.  In other words, is the “too old” thought in the job seeker’s head rather than in the recruiter’s head?  Maybe.  When you don’t get a job and you are looking for a reason, sometimes you attribute it to your own greatest concern–in this case, being too old.  In other cases, not being pretty enough, or being too tall, or not being an extrovert, or not being smart enough.  In other words, maybe you are self-sabotaging by attributing your failure to get the job as being something about yourself that you can’t change.  What about if it was because you didn’t come across in the interview well (you talked too much, or you didn’t make eye contact).  What about if it was something on your resume–in one case in my recent experience a typo!–or the lack of the kind of experience they are looking for.  Or, what if, as in most cases these days, the resume just never got in front of the right eyes?  Your resume was the 583rd resume that came in when they stopped looking at 30?  SO, examine your own mindset and make sure you aren’t attributing it to age, when it is something altogether different.

It is about age, sometimes, though.  People (recruiters, hiring managers, and even you) have stereotypes and prejudices about age that stop you at the door.  Understandingstereotypes a little can help to counter it bit.

Stereotypes

Let’s look at common stereotypes about aging:

  • Older people are more set in their ways
  • Older people’s thinking ability deteriorates
  • Older people’s physical ability deteriorates
  • Older people don’t make good decisions
  • Older people can’t learn, especially technology
  • Older people can’t remember things

So why would anyone want to hire someone for a job who is set in their ways, can’t think, can’t do physical work, can’t make good decisions, can’t learn and can’t remember things?  No one would.  The problem is, these things are not true about ALL old people. In fact, they aren’t true about MOST old people.  (And remember, some of these “too old” people we’re talking about aren’t even 40 yet.)  In some businesses, especially those high tech, start-up kinds of businesses, twenty somethings are preferred to those older than that.

Stereotypes exist because there are some truths to them.  Some old people are set in their ways (as are some young people–ever met a rebellious 16 year old?) Some older people–even as young as late forties–have dementia.  While I am actually stronger and in better shape than I was in my thirties, there are “old” people who have let themselves deteriorate physically.  (Not to say that I’m OLD, but I am over 39)  And then there are those who haven’t kept up with the technology (although if I need my computer fixed, I call on my 80 something father–or my 21-year-old nephew, and frequently they consult).  The tough thing about stereotypes is that they are not reasoned, rational thoughts.  They are automated, instant conclusions that we frequently don’t even know that we have.  That makes them very hard to refute.  When someone who is recruiting for a job takes one look at your resume, looks at your years of experience, the year you graduated from school, the year of your graduate degree, she automatically concludes you are too old for the job because her auto-thoughts go to all the stereotypes listed above.  She can’t even stop herself from dong that.  It gets worse if the person she is hiring for has told her (illegally, I might add) that he doesn’t want anyone over 30 or 40 or 50.  Now she’s got instructions to validate her stereotypes.

Stereotypes Don’t Apply To You

These things don’t apply to you, you say.  You feel, think, act, deliver the same way that you did 20 years ago.  Yeah, that’s the frustrating thing about this.  When a “wrong” stereotype applies to you, reality isn’t a sufficient defense.  Because stereotypes are based on facts.  They are based on generalized assumptions.  So what do you do?  First of all, you MAKE SURE that the stereotypes don’t apply to you.  Make sure you are up to date in all the latest theories, research, tools, and current news in your field.  Make sure that you are current in all the technology.  You don’t text, you say, because it is expensive, or dangerous, or whatever.  Most big companies these days have a texting-IM’ing ability for their employees for in-house communication.  You better learn.  You don’t do Excel, or Publisher, or Access because you never needed it.  You need it now.  Learn it.  You don’t do webex or Telepresence or GoToMeeting.  Then you can’t meet with a huge contingent of workers in almost any company these days.  Learn it.  You cannot stop paying attention to and learning technology tools.  If you do, then they’re right.  Get yourself and keep yourself in shape.  I heard a recruiter say that he walked people up the stairs and if they were huffing and puffing at the top, then they didn’t get the job.  Fair?  No.  Legal–not sure–depends on the job maybe.  Real?  Yes.

Once you make sure that indeed, none of this applies to you, then you need to counteract it in the recruiter/hiring manager’s head.

  • Get past the resume screen.  You need to have at least 10 years experience (if you have it) on your resume.  After that, make a calculation about whether  the older experience is relevant?  Can you say, “more than ten years experience?” Is there a logical break short of going back to when you dipped ice cream at Baskin Robbins?  Address the relevant experience necessary for the job, but consider taking some of it off your resume.  I know, I know, you are more valuable because of that experience.  Prove that to them in the interview, or on the job.  Don’t get cut at the resume stage.  Same is true for the year you graduated from college.  Is the information that is important that you graduated, or the year that you graduated.
  • Get them to see you as a person, as opposed to an (too) old person.  The one thing that helps overcome stereotypes is for people to come to see you as not a fit with the stereotypes.  We all do this.  We don’t necessarily admit to anyone that we do it, but once we see a person as “one of us”–co-worker, friend, leader–as opposed to as “one of them,” we stop thinking that the stereotypes apply.   Do this in the phone screen.  Do this in the interview.  Do it in any interaction you have with the recruiter or the hiring manager.  Do it with interactions with co-workers.  Is it fair that you have to do this?  No.  Is it effective?  Yes.
  • When you encounter a recruiter/hiring manager who is probing your resume/experiences trying to prove/apply the stereotypes, challenge them.  Yes, I said challenge them.  You don’t have anything to lose.  If they are trying to figure out your age, then they hold those stereotypes.  They aren’t allowed to ask how old you are, so they’ll ask what year you graduated from college.  Or they’ll ask whether something was your ‘first’ job with this company.  They’re going to go where they’re going to go. If you ask them if they are trying to figure out how old you are, then you make it a little better for the rest of us who come after.  You probably won’t get the job, but you probably weren’t going to get it anyway.  You can ask them why they think age is relevant for this job. Are there some parts of the job that are specific to younger people.  Again, let me be clear–this will not help you get the job.  It will make their stereotype-thinking more conscious and it might make a difference in changing the way they think–for those who come after.

Get The Stereotypes Out Of Your Own Head

When you don’t get a job, do not automatically assume it is because of the way you are (age, health, credentials).  Of course it may be.  But it is more likely to be about the fact that your resume never got to where it needed to get–it didn’t make it past the computer screen, never got to the top of the pile, etc.  The way you think about it is critical to your ability to get up and keep going.  Erase the stereotypes from your own head.  Assume other decision points.  Keep going.

Best Way To Find A Job, Stereotypes Or Not.

Networking.  Hidden Job Market.  Stereotypes are much less a factor when you do it this way.

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December 29, 2012 · 9:07 pm

Should Your Subordinates Like You?

Should you be liked OR respected?

iStock_000019473325XSmallThis post is a follow on to my last post, Underground Relationships.  One of my readers said that he had a boss tell him that people working for you shouldn’t like you, just respect you.  He asked what I thought about that.  I have heard people say this, and in fact I myself have said a variation of that.  I have said that you don’t have to be liked, but you should be respected.  Different, but maybe someone who heard me say that could interpret it the same way.  I think it’s a great question:  How important is it that your subordinates like you?  Should you work to be liked? Is it ok if they like you?

There is a reasonably good argument that if your people respect you, if you do the right things, if you are kind and thoughtful and a clear communicator, then your people will like you.  There are a lot of reasons, though, that this may not be true.  Some people just don’t like managers–no matter who they are or how they act.  Some people react badly to peers being promoted to be their manager.  (See Promoted to Manage Your Peers?  Awkward.)  Whatever the reason, there is no guarantee that subordinates will like their bosses.

So how hard should you work to get your subordinates to like you?

Let’s start with my reader’s boss’ statement: “the people working for you shouldn’t like you, just respect you.”  I have to say that I don’t agree with this statement.  In an ideal world, your subordinates should both respect you and like you.  The quality of work life is significantly better if there is both respect and a level of affection in both directions.  The important thing is to be very clear on where your responsibility as a manager lies.  You are an employee with a fiduciary duty to the organization to deliver strategic results.  As an employee of the organization, managers must do what the organization needs.  Sometimes those things don’t make subordinates happy.  Sometimes those things don’t make managers happy.  On the other hand, managers also have a responsibility to adhere to their own ethical standards.  Those standards include what they are willing to do for the organization and how they must treat employees and co-workers.

Now let’s look at the statement that I’ve made in the past: “you don’t have to be liked, but you should be respected.”  What I meant by this was that you should do the “right” things, things that make you respected, but you shouldn’t do things with a goal of being liked.  The question my reader posed has made me rethink this.  It is my experience that there are some people in management positions who have a really hard time doing things that will impact their likeability.  I believe that this is the wrong thing to use as a guideline when you are a manager.  Your responsibility is first–what is right for the organization, second–what is right for your people, and I don’t see a time when your likeability should be a factor.

Unfortunately, though, it isn’t as easy as that.  It’s really hard to find the lines that divide these things.  What is right for the organization may be bad for the people; what is right for some people may be wrong for others; what is right for your subordinates may be wrong for other parts of the organization.  Finding your way through these  mazes is easier if you have strong relationships with people at work.  If they trust you, and if you communicate clearly as to your reasons and the context, it is easier to find a balance between hard decisions that create unhappiness and sustaining organization performance and relationships.

So what do you do?

  • Get clear on what your personal ethical belief is about how people should be treated and how those decisions should get made
  • Get clear on what you believe is your responsibility to the organization as a boss
  • Find your personal balance between these (understand that whatever you decide here could cause you problems–with your boss, your organization or your subordinates–but you’ve got to live with your decisions/behavior)
  • Listen to HEAR what your people are thinking and going through
  • Communicate clearly with your subordinates about the context and reasons for why decisions have been made, acknowledging the costs to people who are affected–this is absolutely the most important action in being respected/liked
  • As long as you are comfortable with your personal decisions about how you navigate, live with the consequences

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December 13, 2012 · 8:22 pm

Recruiters Are Prejudiced

iStock_000016004829XSmall

Recruiters Are People

I know lots of recruiters.  I like lots of recruiters. In fact, maybe I like all the recruiters I know.  Recruiters are regular people.  And like regular people (yes, that means you too), recruiters are prejudiced.  We are all prejudiced.  We don’t necessarily know that we’re prejudiced.  We don’t think or believe that we’re prejudiced, but all humans are.  If this were a geometry problem, I would have just proved that recruiters are prejudiced, because recruiters are people and people are prejudiced.

If recruiters are prejudiced, then why should you care?  You should care because if you’re looking for a job, it has an impact on you. If the recruiter believes negative or positive things about people ‘like’ you–young, old, fat, African-American, Asian, Southern, Republican, Catholic–then it can affect whether they pass you along for a job. Worse, recruiters are frequently under instructions from someone with a different set of prejudices–maybe about education, skills or particular schools.  So you’re up against (or supported by) layered prejudices.

What Can You Do About It?

First of all don’t waste your energy railing against it.  I’m not saying it isn’t wrong or unfair, but sitting around complaining about it is not going to do any good.  Recognize it as a problem that you have to figure out how to overcome.  Just the same as if you need a certification to get a particular job or  you need to know how to use Access.  You HAVE to address it or look for other jobs with other recruiters.  How do you address it?

  • Don’t get paranoid.  I know, I know.  I just told you that recruiters’ prejudices may be keeping you from getting passed along for a job.  But look at it as a matter to be dealt with.  Be strategic.  Don’t take it personally.
  • Understand what may be triggering the prejudice.  Is it your age?  Are you ‘too’ young?  ‘Too’ old.  How can the recruiter see this?  Does your resume tell it?  How can you make it less obvious?  Take the dates off your education.  Leave/put as much work experience on as is necessary for the job.  Show adequate depth of experience, but don’t go overboard.  Don’t put personal things that aren’t necessary and that might be a hook for prejudice (sewing, cooking, gaming, sports).
  • Use the words that the recruiter used in the job description in your resume.  Mirror the job description as much as you can.  A lot of time and effort went into creating that job description.  The words mean something to the person who wrote it.  Use the words to describe your qualifications.
  • Check out your image.  Minimize the prejudice triggers to the extent that you can–dress older or younger, remove the multiple piercings, cover the tattoos, dye your hair, lose weight, dress professionally, stylishly.  (I can hear you objecting through the electrons that separate us.  I am not telling you to not be who you are.  I’m telling you to do things that get you around the things that are in your way.  I’ll bet big bucks that you dress differently when you go to church or to school or to work or camping. Put the foot forward that will help clear roadblocks out of the way.)
  • Form a relationship with the recruiter. Keep working at the relationship.   Humans think in terms of ‘them’ and ‘us.’  Humans like ‘us’ better.  People who we know and like become ‘us,’ even when the new ‘us’ has traits we are prejudiced against.  In other words, if I’m prejudiced against people ‘like’ you, but I like you, I think you are different and I’m not prejudiced against YOU, just those others.  I KNOW that sounds crazy, but go read some psychology research–you’ll find that this craziness is supported by the research.
  • Don’t ever give in and believe these prejudices.  Just because you are young or old or less educated, doesn’t mean that you aren’t capable.

Once You Have The Job

Examine your own hiring prejudices.  You have them.  Challenge yourself, remembering your recent experiences, to act against those prejudices and to hire people based on their individual abilities, not on stereotypes (even if stereotypes  are faster, as George Clooney said in “Up In The Air”).

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